What is Self-Love? (5 Steps to Begin Loving Yourself.)
Most people would agree that loving oneself is essential for a happy and fulfilling life. However, many people find it difficult to do just that.
In addition, many people confuse self-love with selfishness, and they could not be more wrong.
In this post, we will explain what self-love is and how you can start practicing it in your daily life.
So continue reading to find out!
Is Self-Love Selfishness?
Many people mistake self-love with selfishness, which is a misconception and entirely incorrect.
Self-love is not selfishness; in fact, those who practice self-love can be some of the most generous people. Self-love is making sure that you take care of yourself emotionally, mentally, and physically. It is setting boundaries with others and knowing your worth.
So how do you develop self-love?
Here are 5 of the most important steps you must take in order to develop self-love and live a happier life.
1. Set Boundaries.
Setting boundaries is a crucial step in developing self-love.
Anyone who has ever tried to please others knows that it is a quickly self-destructive cycle. People-pleasing can have detrimental effects on your self-esteem and self-worth.
It is important to set healthy boundaries to maintain a sense of self. When you let people cross your boundaries, it will make you start hating yourself.
This is because you are taking on more responsibility than necessary and damaging your own sense of self in the process.
It is important to remember to check in with yourself and ensure that YOU are okay. This means getting rid of toxic people and toxic situations from your life. Only by taking care of yourself, you can start living a happy life.
To learn more about setting boundaries click here.
how do you set boundaries?
- Get to know yourself, your likes, and your dislikes. What you want and need and what you do not want or need.
- Communicate those needs and wants (kindly) to people around you.
- Do not care about others’ reactions to your boundaries. If they don’t like it, it’s their problem, not yours.
- If some people around you react negatively towards your boundaries, it is time to say goodbye. (only toxic people will respond negatively to your boundaries)
- Stick to your boundaries; it gets easier with practice.
2. Put Yourself First; Always!
You have heard the flight attendant announcement about oxygen masks:
“Please put your oxygen mask on first before helping others.”
The same goes for developing self-love.
You are the only person responsible for your happiness and wellbeing, and it is essential to remember that. This means making yourself and your happiness a priority, always.
Putting yourself first in every situation is crucial to self-love. By putting yourself first, you will be able to help others better and more efficiently.
So next time you are thinking about putting someone else before yourself, remember the oxygen mask analogy and take care of yourself first.
Your loved ones will thank you for it.
To learn some amazing self-care tips click here.
3. Learn How to Say “NO.”
One of the hardest things for most people to say to others is the word “NO.”
But learning to say no is an essential step in your self-love journey because learning to say no will help you put yourself first and not get into situations you are not comfortable with.
Practice makes perfect. Start with little things.
Eventually, saying no will become easier without having to make excuses.
4. Use Kind Words When You Speak to Yourself.
Most people are used to negative self-talk. for example, “I’m so stupid”, “I’m such a dumbass”, and “I knew I’d mess up” – does this sound familiar?
Believe it or not, your brain listens to how you speak to yourself, and after a while, it starts to believe you.
How you speak to yourself when you are alone matters a lot.
Negative words can make you feel horrible, on the other hand, using positive words when you speak to yourself, can build up your self-esteem and make you stronger.
Start by paying attention to the way you talk to yourself. Use kind words and be gentle, no matter what the situation is.
For example, if you make a mistake, instead of saying “I’m so stupid.” say “It’s okay, I love you.”
Over time you will see the positive effects of this technique on your view of yourself and your self-esteem.
A book we recommend on this subject is: “What to Say When You Talk to Your Self” by Shad Helmstetter
This book can change your life, so give it a try!
5. Raise Your Self Esteem.
One of the most important things you can do to develop self-love is to raise your self-esteem.
Having self-esteem is about more than just having positive thoughts; it’s also about knowing that you are worthy and fully capable of achieving whatever you want in this life.
It’s about allowing yourself to make mistakes and learn from them instead of feeling shame or embarrassed.
Raising your self-esteem helps you open yourself up to more possibilities and opportunities because you believe in yourself.
Having self-esteem is about falling in love with yourself, no matter your life circumstances.
How Do You raise your Self-Esteem?
Self-esteem is self-love, and it’s impossible to have one without the other.
But how do you raise your self-esteem?
- Become self-aware
Self-awareness is the ability to see yourself clearly and objectively. it’s about understanding your own thoughts, feelings, and actions.
Meditation is a great way to become self-aware.
When you meditate, you clear your mind of all thoughts and focus on the present moment.
Meditation allows you to become aware of your thoughts and feelings and better understand yourself.
- Self-love affirmations
10 Examples of Positive Affirmations for Self Love:
- I believe in my abilities.
- I am stronger than my fears.
- I can face every challenge.
- I deserve love and success.
- I am enough.
- I believe in myself and my power.
- I deserve respect.
- I accept and embrace myself.
- I respect myself.
- I am worthy of everything I desire.
Choose two or three affirmations that speak to you and repeat them daily throughout the day.
- Journal
In a journal, write down ten things you like or love about yourself, however small they can be.
Review them daily and acknowledge how proud you are of those things.
- Live authentically
Living an authentic life is essential to raising your self-esteem. Learning about your likes and dislikes and living for you and yourself only is key.
Find out what you want and need, and stick to it.
Do not let anyone else change your mind or decide who you are and what you should do.
- Take responsibility for your actions
Accepting and taking responsibility for your actions shows that you respect yourself enough to hold yourself accountable. No matter what, good or bad, always be responsible for yourself.
- Forgive yourself
Allow yourself to make mistakes, learn from them, and know that you are worthy of self-love and high self-esteem.
Forgive yourself when you make mistakes. Learn the lessons and move on.
- Read about self-esteem
One of the Best Books to read on self-esteem is “Six Pillars of Self Esteem” by Nathaniel Brandon. We highly recommend reading it.
Takeaway
Self-love is an ongoing journey, not a destination. It’s something you have to work on every day. The good news is that it’s worth the effort. When you love yourself, you become happier and more content. You also become less critical and judgmental of yourself and others. If you want to start loving yourself more, begin by defining what self-love means for you and try the tips and tricks we provided you in this post. Thank you for reading!
